What if my children really went hungry?

Today is day two of our family's subsistence diet. Our boring, simple, limited diet..... Somehow I thought this would be easier. The girls are doing great- their attitudes are wonderful and their hearts are willing. But, already we're feeling the effects. We all have been experiencing headaches and are low on energy.

I know in my head that this is okay. We're all safe and our health is not in jeopardy. But still I am feeling the need to fix this in some way. Today I gave one of my girl's permission to have a small bowl of cereal when she got home. She was very upset and torn. She had a terrible headache that began yesterday. She wanted to keep her commitment but was really struggling. At dinner she ate her rice and beans happily. Now she is downstairs emailing her cousin. They have decided to encourage each other everyday-- "This is so much easier dad, when you do it with a buddy." I suspect their interaction will boost her spirits and spur her on.

As a dad, there is nothing scarier to me than the thought that my kids won't have enough. Enough fun, enough education, enough exercise, enough.... You get the picture. And as the guy who prepares most of the meals in our house, the enough to eat thing is especially important. I guess one of the primary ways I love on my family (and friends) is by cooking for them. I love to cook someone's favorite meal and see them enjoy it. To make something I know will give my family pleasure and make them feel special is what I do best. I am a care giver and food is one way I lavish care on those I love.

These past two days have been an adjustment. Sure, it had been great to have a simple meal to clean up after and to not think about what to make for dinner. It has certainly been less work. And it has made me express love for my family in other ways. Still, it feels strange to me to not pack up their lunch with something special. And it is definitely weird to give them one thing for dinner on somewhat empty plate. And I instinctively find myself worrying, "Is that enough dinner?" or "Boy, that lunch box looks empty".

Then I think about how many moms and dads had nothing to put on the table tonight; or who had to rely on the kindness of strangers to feed their children a meal at school today. I cannot even fathom what that must feel like. To see hunger in my children's eyes. To hear them cry out for something-- anything-- to fill their stomachs. How can any parent bear that?

So tonight, I pray for all of those parents in the world who have no choice but to watch their children suffer from malnutrition. My heart breaks for them. God, give them the grace and strength they need each day-- give them hope to persevere and most of all, give them food for their little ones. And God, never let me forget these moms and dads. Amen.