Thoughts from Jennifer Fitz-Roy

I’ve had chronic pain for the past five years, and spent almost three years in such severe pain that I was unable to work or go to school. In January of last year, however, my physicians finally diagnosed and treated my problem. I still have pain on a daily basis, but it’s managed with medication, medical massage therapy, physical therapy, exercise, and prayer. However, every once in awhile, my pain becomes extremely severe to the point that it is incapacitating for several days.


As I began my sustenance diet on Monday morning, I started to experience a very sharp pain in the back of my thigh going down into my calf. The pain was much more severe than usual, and I was unsure of how long it would last. All day Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I not only dealt with the feelings of hunger and lightheadedness from my sustenance diet, but also was in such severe pain that I couldn’t work or go to class. I spent those three days lying on my couch or in bed, taking pain medication, and praying. I prayed for the pain to go away and to be relieved of my suffering, but I also prayed to be drawn closer to God in the midst of my pain, knowing that Christ’s power is made perfect in weakness and difficulty.

Participating in the sustenance diet only intensified my difficulties. As I experienced the hunger and monotony from my diet, I found myself thinking about the individuals who eat like this every day, who are hungry, and who don’t have a choice. Those thoughts helped me to endure.

My thoughts about people experiencing hunger, and my pain flare-up and sustenance diet occurring at the same time caused me to begin thinking of people in other parts of the world who, like me, experience severe pain. I'm ashamed to admit it, but this is the first time I've ever really and seriously thought about people who have severe pain who are in different circumstances than my own. So while I was praying to God to help me endure through the pain, I found myself praying much more thanksgiving for the things in my life that help me with the pain, like medications (and physicians who are willing to prescribe them and insurance to pay for them), my physicians who were able to diagnose and treat me, my massage therapist and physical therapist, and things like heat/ice packs that I'm using at home, a comfortable bed with pillows and blankets, and even the DVDs that are keeping me entertained and distracted. Yesterday, my medical massage therapist noticed that I was in more pain than usual, and he spent double his usual time with me, working on my leg and alternating heat and ice. I am so thankful for his compassion, skill, and willingness to spend so much time to help me.

When I think of people in severe pain in other areas, I know that many don't have the comfort of pain medication, the expertise of physicians, the physical comforts that I do, or the opportunity to rest. We are called to be thankful in prayer, and just like this sustenance diet is helping me to be thankful for the abundance and variety of my regular diet, my realizations about the experiences of others in pain is helping me choose to pray with thanksgiving for the first time.

My pain has been under control today and I pray that I continue to do well, but most of all, I am praying with a very thankful heart for all that I have been given in the midst of my suffering.

Submitted by: Jen Fitz-Roy